


Changes

by AgentOfShip



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letter, Mentions of Fitzsimmons - Freeform, Missing Scene, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22941613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentOfShip/pseuds/AgentOfShip
Summary: As SHIELD is celebration their temporary victory on Izel, Fitz reflects on every that has changed since he's last been on Earth and finally gets a proper reunion with May.A big thank you to @Libbyweasley and @blancafic who have been wonderful betas on this story <3And a big thank you to @ofitzsimmons as well for her beautiful gif sets which have given me the motivation to finish writing this!
Relationships: Leo Fitz & Melinda May, Phil Coulson & Leo Fitz
Comments: 20
Kudos: 55





	Changes

All of the things that were different didn’t really register to Fitz until they were all gathered to celebrate their victory at the base.

For a year, he'd been focused on finding his way to the future to get his friends back, only to discover they'd been back all along with another version of him who had managed to die in a building collapse. Since he'd learned about it, he'd been trying his best not to think too much about what would have happened if the other him hadn't died. Which he did by never leaving Jemma's side and basking in her presence. And she seemed quite content to do the same. But here, at the base, it was hard to ignore the truth of everything he'd missed.

There were good surprises, such as Davis being alive, although it was frustrating that no one seemed to know how that was possible. There were the ones he couldn't tell if they were good or bad, such as Elena's robot arms, which she seemed rather okay with. Although she and Mack not being together anymore when they were clearly still very much in love was barely less strange. Not to mention that Fitz didn't really know what to do about the grandson who was the same age he was. Jemma said he was a work in progress and he seemed nice, just… a lot. Like having Scrappy Doo around.

And of course there were the really, really bad surprises. Like seeing the face of the man he'd considered the most like a father acting like a merciless bastard while the real him would never come back. Fitz expected to see him at every turn or for him to make an entrance during Mack's speech, explaining to them how it was all a ruse and looking delighted about it. If Coulson was one thing, it was resilient. Or so Fitz thought.

He was still loath to leave Jemma's side now that they were finally back together, afraid she might just vanish. Just like her dream version had done every morning for the past year, as he'd woken in one horrible place after the other. But at some point with all the looks and attention on him, he'd felt the need to be alone, truly alone with himself. Not because he'd been forced to but because he wanted to. They had promised they would tell each other everything and they would, but for now Jemma deserved to enjoy being home and catching up with the life she had put on hold to find him. And Fitz desperately craved fresh air. The real kind with the perfect percentage of oxygen to sustain human life.

The Lighthouse was certainly a step up from the Playground. Climbing up all those steps had been worth it to get such a view over the ocean and the wild coast instead of a dingy back alley.

"Mind the company?"

Fitz startled. He hadn't heard her get close with the wind blowing so strong up there. But it was Melinda May. He probably wouldn't have heard her anyway. He smiled as he turned to look at her.

"Not at all."

And he really didn't. It was funny how someone's presence could be equally terrifying and relaxing depending on the situation. With her, there was never the need to fill in the silence if you had nothing important to say, or to pretend to be in a better mood than you were.

She stepped forward and came to lean over the railing next to him.

"It's nice here. I hope we keep this base a little longer than the last," she said.

"Yeah… My mum always said I'd make a good lighthouse keeper if that whole engineering thing didn't work out."

She chuckled softly.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind that either."

Of course, Fitz knew it wasn't true for any of them. He might be grumpy and enjoy a little alone time once in a while, but his whole life had been about making people love him. it had given him Jemma and his SHIELD family but it was also what brought out the Doctor. As for May, you'd think that losing the man she loved once more would have hardened her but he'd seen her interact with people tonight. And he'd seen her smile when she'd seen him. It was the biggest one he'd ever seen on her face.

"I have something for you," she said, the words rushed like she'd been dreading it and wanted to get it over with quickly.

"Oh?"

She turned around and took the briefcase she had left on the ground that Fitz hadn't even noticed and handed it to him. Fitz raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"It's from Phil."

Fitz's throat bobbed at the word. He didn't think there would ever be a day he wouldn't feel like that when thinking about the man who had been the only real father figure he'd ever had. He unlocked the latches and opened the briefcase to find a hand. More precisely, the first prosthetic hand Coulson had kept for about three weeks before asking him for a new one.

"I told him it'd be weird."

Fitz burst out laughing. It was such a May thing to be so honest and blunt, even to a dying man.

"Yeah… But I-I didn't even know he still had it. Thought it had all been destroyed with the Playground."

"He kept it with a few other valuable things in a safe. There's a letter that goes with it."

Oh great. His eyes already felt glassy thinking Coulson had thought it was something valuable enough to save over some of his old spy gadgets but now there was a letter too.

Taking the simple white envelope with the name Fitz written on it in Coulson's recognizable handwriting, Fitz closed the briefcase and put it on the ground.

> _"Fitz,  
>  First and foremost, I'd like to welcome you into the "dead but still kicking club." I'm sorry I can't be there for the initiation ceremony but I'm sure May will do a great job. She'll tell you she's not part of it because she was technically only dead for a few minutes but I'm counting on you to back me up on that."_

Fitz laughed as he wiped the first tear that had fallen down his cheek. God, he was going to miss his humor.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" May asked softly.

"That's alright. You've seen the worst of me already."

There was a haunted look in her eyes for a second but she didn't flinch and just nodded as she leaned over the railway, looking towards the ocean.

> _"But all jokes aside, I want to apologize for not being able to say goodbye. You, Jemma and Daisy have been like the children I never had and I couldn't have dreamt of better ones. Seeing you evolve from an awkward genius to an only slightly less awkward but heroic genius has been one of my greatest joys these past years and I hope I'm not claiming too much credit when I say I feel like I played a small role in it._
> 
> _Getting to officiate your wedding was truly an honor and one of the highlights of my life and I couldn't be happier for you two. Not that it was a surprise for any of us. Now I know that the version of you who will read this will not remember that day and I cannot imagine how you will feel about it. And this is why I'm giving you this rather unusual gift. To remind you that you should always look forward and not spend too long mourning what you have lost or the time you've missed._
> 
> _Appreciate what you have and the people who love you._
> 
> _I know I wasn't exactly patient but I will forever be grateful for you working so hard to give me back my hand. It was a hard time for both of us and, although the last version is the coolest thing I ever owned, this first one is a reminder that you can adapt to everything with the right people around you. And I was the luckiest for having the best engineer out there who shared my love for spy gadgets._
> 
> _So please, Fitz, be happy. That's my ultimate advice to you. Buy that cottage in Scotland. Build a family with Jemma. Get a monkey. Or a dog. Leave SHIELD or rebuild the Academy and become the best directors it ever had. It's all up to you. Don't waste your second chance._
> 
> _And if your kids ever wonder what's with the creepy hand you have stored in the cupboard, please tell them stories about the grandfather they never met. Make me sound cool. I trust you on that.  
>  Love, Phillip J. Coulson, Agent of SHIELD"_

Fitz released a shaky breath as he wiped his eyes. Maybe he should have asked May for some privacy after all because he'd been reduced to a sobbing mess. But on the other hand, Coulson had been right and he was the perfect example for why Fitz should appreciate people while they were still there. He felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and turned around to find May with a soft smile on her face. He tried to smile back despite the tears still clouding his vision.

"Phil had always had a way with words."

Fitz chuckled.

"Yeah! No kidding."

"You know, I think he held on a little longer because of you. He had time to say goodbye to Daisy, Jemma, everyone… me," she said with a tremor in her voice. "But the hope of seeing you alive one last time gave him a little extra strength at the end."

Another sob escaped him and May's arms were around him in an instant.

"I'm so sorry," he let out between two sobs.

"No, no, no. It's a good thing. He never doubted for a second that Jemma would find you and he was at peace in the end. It just… it gave us more time."

They remained in each other's arms for a moment longer. Until Fitz felt like he wouldn't crumble if he let go.

"Sorry," he repeated. "That's a lot to take in and I haven't really had the time to wrap my head around… well everything just yet. But I-I'm glad that you had time… together."

She shook her head.

"Don't be sorry. It's healthier to express your emotions than keeping them bottled up."

Fitz raised an amused eyebrow.

"Don't tell anyone I said that."

Fitz chuckled and she gave him an amused little smile.

"And just so you know, _that_ wasn't your worst." He frowned. "I know what you meant. The Framework. It was terrible but it wasn't the real you. The worst was seeing you die and not being able to do a thing about it."

"I-I didn't know you-you were—"

"It's alright, I'm sure you and Jemma had nicer things to talk about after so much time apart," she said with a tender smile. "That was one the most horrible scenes I ever had to witness, but seeing your face earlier, it was… it made me feel a joy I hadn't felt in months. I could almost hear him whisper in my ear ‘I told you so.’"

Fitz didn't know what to say so he wrapped his arms around her once more. She hugged him back without hesitation and Fitz couldn't help smiling at the fact that it had happened more in five minutes than in all the years they had known each other. She'd often been there for him, when Jemma was in Hydra or when he was still a young scientist not even fit for the field but it had always been more of an encouraging presence. And Fitz was infinitely grateful for it. But he'd always been a hugger and this felt nice.

After a while, they broke apart and leaned back over the railway in synchrony.

"You know, you're pretty good with words too."

"Don't say that to anyone else either."

They grinned at each other before looking back towards the ocean.

"Do you want to go back down?"

"In a minute."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I plan on not ever letting Jemma out of my sight after tonight but Deke… he's, well he's a lot."

"He's an idiot."

"Hey! He's still mine… apparently."

May chuckled.

"But it's not all his fault. I saw the world he grew up in. And he's got yours and Jemma's genes. There has to be some good in him."

"Yeah… but still… calling me Bobo."

"You –the other you– wanted him to."

"Really?"

May shrugged, the hint of a smile pulling at her lips.

It was fine. They'd just gotten rid of the latest major danger. He could enjoy the view a little longer. He'd have all the time he needed to adjust to this new life and new family in the months to come.


End file.
